It's the summer holidays, which means I have less time to consider funding applications, or applying for residencies that aren't successful, and failing to achieve most of my career aims.
I've been told that I'm a good artist by several people recently. Even though I have failed to achieve anything meaningful, have not been able to produce any work that I would consider particularly good, and have barely survived the last few months at all, never mind create anything.
I am starting to look forwards, and with support from friends and colleagues, I'm starting to think about new LAN projects again, with a house exhibition planned for Hallowe'en.
You'd think, to look at these drawings, that it'd be easy enough to get on with some form of creativity with a 15 year old mostly playing computer games, so why is it that the minute I go to do something, he's there in my face?
This is my youngest son. Credit where credit's due, he does help out quite a lot with things from time to time, but no, he won't go to exhibitions, and he won't go out with any friends to do sports, and has somehow broken his bike. He wants everything, and of course, doesn't have a clue how lucky he is to have anything at all.
Tax credits renewal finances don't seem to have factored in the concept at all. Apparently there's a £500 "overpayment" that is stressing me out.
I have to pay for a holiday cottage in Wales for us all for next year, as my brother is getting married. What would be great, would be to stay in Wales for a bit longer, and spend some time around Swansea and Cardiff (where Doctor Who is filmed - the boys are both into Doctor Who, so it would be great to catch that.
What would be perfect, would be that, considering no one seems to want to pay me for my work, to not have to pay for things like holidays. Or maybe, if I were paid properly, I'd be able to afford to pay for a week in Wales for myself and 2 teenagers.
Why is it that when you bring up the subject of getting paid as an artist, or not working for free any more, there are always those that say "that isn't the reason I create work" - as if that's an excuse for impoverishment?
A doctor doesn't go to medical school or treat patients purely for money alone, but a doctor still gets paid, and doesn't have to pay NHS managers to use their surgery as far as I'm aware of. I could be wrong, it isn't the kind of thing I think to ask during a consultation, and I consider myself lucky enough not to have needed to go to the doctor's lately, but I'm fairly certain that people that work in offices don't pay to use their office the way artists seem to be expected to pay for studio space whilst not being paid.
"Gingerbread is not able to help with the cost of holidays"
This blog post was written at 7.00a.m. before the teenagers get up. I may not be seen again before September!